How to repair a family quarrel?

How to repair a family quarrel?

“Only those spouses who have nothing in common at all do not quarrel …” – modern psychologists say. “Lovely scold – only amuse!” – the Russian proverb echoes them. These arguments, although they sound somewhat reassuring, are not constructive in them. How to stop a family quarrel? How to prevent a storm of emotions from turning into a destructive hurricane? We offer you some useful tips and tricks.

Five magic phrases

Sometimes the conflict can be weakened or stopped by the right words:

“Okay, let’s calm down and think about what we can do in this situation right now?”

This phrase lets your partner know that you are not deaf to his pleas and are ready for constructive action. The use of the pronoun “WE” indicates that both of you are participants in the process. Truly solving family problems can only be done together, and not unilaterally.

“Perhaps I didn’t understand you correctly. Explain to me why you think so and what are your conclusions based on?

In a quarrel, everyone tries to prove their point of view and does not hear the opponent at all. This phrase extinguishes the emotional intensity, indicating your sincere desire to understand the interlocutor. And he (she), in turn, slows down the pace of the conversation and begins to state the problem more meaningfully. This increases the chances of a successful resolution.

“Do you think this situation is worse than the one we fought over last time? Or will we be able to deal with it more easily?”

This phrase makes the interlocutor remember your past joint experience of overcoming obstacles. Even better if the experience was positive. In this way, you give your spouse the confidence that together you can overcome any adversity.

“I’m ready to listen to whatever you have to say, but first…”

Deliberately take a break before an important conversation if you feel your emotions starting to take over. Offer to make your significant other coffee or tea for a more relaxed conversation.

“Let’s stop fighting right now!”

If you have absolutely no arguments left, then directly offer your partner a world settlement. Admit that you love him (her) and stupid quarrels cannot destroy this love. Even if you have not solved the problems, it will cool your ardor and allow you to re-think possible solutions in a calm environment at a more convenient opportunity.